Really, I’m ashamed.
I have been absolutely terrible about keeping this blog up-to-date. Seriously, it’s really, really, bad.
I suppose it’s because my life here is not as interesting as it used to be. My work drama is summed up in that I just work with idiots who in all actuality don’t make my job any harder, they just make it more mind-numbingly boring.
I would like to tell you how the Fibro Support group I joined is going but I am never able to make their meetings because they occur at 5pm which is when I get out of work. Needless to say I don’t think that’ll be working out.
I do have some news though on the Fibro front. I have now gone two successful months without medication. Honestly, I attribute ALL of this to the significant decrease of stress at my job. I don’t take this job home with me and I don’t actually care about it at all.
I was talking with someone recently about it and I realized I was so stressed at my last job because it demanded a lot from me. Since I personally knew the owners and it was a small, family, business I felt compelled to always go above and beyond. It’s different when a boss asks you to do something than when the owner of the company, who’s also your friend, asks you to do something. Where I work now I’ve never met the owners, and it’s a company with more than one office and the bar the standards are set to is so low there is really no need to try. Which is perfect for me.
That is not to say that I don’t do my job to the best of my abilities, it’s clear I do, they keep giving me more responsibility, but at the end of the day if I don’t finish something I don’t care that I didn’t get it done, no one is going to call me later that night to check up. They’re also not going to ask me to work overtime.
I really can’t explain what it feels like to be able to go day-to-day without taking meds again. I feel like I finally have a grasp on this thing after years of it only getting worse it’s finally starting to be something I can manage. Which is all any of us can ever ask for!
I’m not saying that miraculously my symptoms went away or that I never flare. I actually just had the mother of all flare ups.
I came down with a cold/flu/sinus infection pretty quickly on Thursday and by Friday morning I couldn’t move. Does this ever happen to anyone else when they’re sick? It’s like my lower back and shoulders instantly become the most painful places. It’s funny because I feel like it’s my body just giving up on attempting to control the pain signals and instead forcing all its efforts on fighting whatever illness I have.
But enough of that. I feel like every post I have written has been me just talking about how great I’ve been feeling. Honestly though, I’m just waiting for it to end. I feel like something could change and I could go back to needing the meds again. Regardless I’m hoping that my trip to the doctor in a few weeks finally gives me some answers. I really don’t care what’s wrong with me, at this point I’ve learned to live with whatever it is, but I just want the comfort of knowing once and for all this is something chronic, something not yet curable, and most importantly not something worse.
And one last little note here, I can’t remember if I mentioned this in my last post or not, but I am finally getting back to doing photography and working on a body of work. I’m really excited about my ideas. I’m giving myself a year to compile an ongoing body of work so that I can maybe apply to artist is residency programs abroad as well as start submitting my work into shows.
I’ll keep you updated on everything as it happens. And yes, this is another empty promise to post more.